An ode to rap music (blog virginity)

Here is my first of hopefully many rants that escape my brain:

I don't get rap music.
I'm sorry if you like it, but I don't. Actually, the only reason I'm sorry if you like it is because you torture your poor ears. I will go as far as Mickey Avalon, because he's hilarious (but really only for about ten minutes), and then I'll stop. All of these artificial beats and continuously boring and meaningless lyrics (this isn't the case with some rappers who actually have shit to say that is beneficial to listen to, a.k.a less than 0.1% of them). All of the tracks sounding the same. All of the stereotypes and culture and bullshit that surrounds rap music - it's pathetic.

Arrogant rap fans who call music like rock and folk "pussy music" and "repetitive" have their heads in their asses and their asses in an overflowing trash can. I don't think these people understand how long it takes to be great at a musical instrument, and to learn and master things like music theory and texture and timbre and dynamic. The farthest level of creativity rap can reach is about equal to the level of intelligence of a dead dung beetle covered in monkey semen.

I don't get it. Listen to things that have tunes and dynamics and good lyrics. Listen to Van Halen, listen to the Beatles, listen to Ben Folds or Of Montreal or Aerosmith; this is music that makes your ears thank you, not want to rape you with a steak knife.

Sorry if this rant severely offended your taste in "music", but I just don't get how people can listen to rap for more than two minutes and say, "Golly, this is swell. Snoop Dogg sure is fly."

Listen to better music. Stop stooping so low. Rap just doesn't make sense.